蘋論：台灣是希臘的老師：Goldman Sachs 公司的希臘變戲法

蘋論：台灣是希臘的老師

2015年07月08日

有5、6個希臘公務員上班時間在酒吧喝啤酒、打彈子，臨走時對老闆丟下一句話：「我們的帳德國佬會來付。」這是歐盟媒體上的一則漫畫，道盡希臘與歐盟關係。

希臘公投否決紓困方案，教給我們很多事。如果欠錢不還債主上門，就把全家集合起來投票，若過半數反對還債，就可兩手一攤，聳聳肩膀說：「看，我家過半數反對按你的方式還錢，所以你看著辦吧！」債主投鼠忌器，也不敢逼人太甚，於是你能以勝利者的姿態在外宣稱：「這是民主的勝利。」
希臘要加入歐元區時，須繳出國家資產負債表等財務資料給歐洲央行審核。希臘擔心帳面太難看過不了關，竟找美國華爾街著名惡棍高盛投資銀行，幫希臘作假帳混過關，並付高盛一大筆酬金。詐騙事跡敗露後，高盛與希臘名譽掃地，也是歐盟主要國家給希臘臉色看的原因之一。
這台灣不必學，我們早就是作假帳大國，企業、商家、店舖少有不作假帳者；連重量級政客申報的政治獻金、選舉支出都是假帳，少得令人髮指。希臘應請台灣政客指導他們作帳技術，就可省下大筆給高盛的酬勞。
台灣還有一項技術可外銷歐洲幫歐盟向希臘討債，就是地下錢莊討債公司。我們可想像以下畫面：討債集團高舉青天白日滿地紅的國旗搭機赴希，到希臘總理齊普拉斯家門口潑大糞、塗油漆、給門鎖灌鉛，或等小齊出來遛狗時，逮住他把大龍炮塞進肛門點火，搞他幾天包他乖乖還債。如此台灣不但揚威國際，說不定還有歐洲國家與我們建交以示感激。這叫技術輸出。
當然幫歐盟討債也要兩邊賺錢，除教希臘作假帳，也教他們「大借若還」的表演技術及收受政治獻金不露痕跡的先進技術。這些都是台灣知名品牌技術，具高額利潤。當然，官商勾結與貪污技術也一併以套餐方式出售，邊際效益更大。 

向希臘學搞垮年金

國際交流，雙向溝通很重要，我們也應高薪請來希臘官員，請教如何給公務員加高薪和超級退休福利，如何搞垮年金制度，我們要謙虛向希臘學習這些技術，因我們的年金快破產；也請希臘教我們公投技術，因立委一直拒絕台灣實施公投。

Robert Reich

People seem to forget that the Greek debt crisis -- which is becoming a European and even possibly a world economic crisis – grew out of a deal with Goldman Sachs, engineered by Goldman’s Lloyd Blankfein. Several years ago, Blankfein and his Goldman team helped Greece hide the true extent of its debt -- and in the process almost doubled it. When the first debt deal was struck in 2001, Greece owed about 600 million euros ($793 million) more than the 2.8 billion euros it had borrowed. Goldman then cooked up an off-the-books derivative for Greece that disguised the shortfall but increased the government’s losses to 5.1 billion euros. In 2005, the deal was restructured and the 5.1 billion euro debt was locked in. After that, Goldman and the rest of Wall Street pulled the global economy to its knees – whacking Greece even harder.

Undoubtedly, Greece suffers from years of corruption and tax avoidance by its wealthy. But Goldman Sachs isn't exactly innocent. It padded its profits by catastrophically leveraging up the global economy with secret, off-balance-sheet debt deals. Did any of its executives ever go to jail? Of course not. They all got fat bonuses and promotions. Blankfein, now CEO, raked in $24 million in 2014 alone. Meanwhile, the people of Greece struggle to buy medicine and food.

Doesn't seem right, does it?